Never Enough Time
by gleelover2007
Summary: Ashley and Spencer meet and fall madly in love despite their illness. (AU) Based on the book the fault in our stars.
1. Chapter 1

I'm Spencer Carlin and this is my story. I'm nobody special really just a normal seventeen year old girl. I have two older brother's Clay and Glen. We get along okay I guess. I'm really close with Clay though he seemed to accept me when I came out of the closet finally. My mom well not so much but she is learning to deal.

My dad Arthur Carlin is a cook and a damn great one at that. He makes the best pancakes I have ever tasted; I dare anyone to say otherwise. He is also one of my biggest fans. He cried when he found out, but what father wouldn't. I'm his only daughter, and it's killing him to see me like this.

My mother Paula Carlin is a doctor, she is gone a lot but she really try's to be there for us kids especially now with my condition growing worse. She is constantly asking me if I'm okay and if I need anything. I know she cares but give a girl a break.

Then there is my brother Glen the star of the family. He plays basketball for the local high school and he is great at it. He is popular and all the girls love him. Ever since my condition worsened though all he seems to get is pity which I know he hates.

My brother Clay was adopted by my family when he was four and he really is my best friend. I can tell him anything and he will listen and support me always. There is never any doubt in his mind that I can beat this.

Now back to me, I'm what some people would call average looking with my blonde hair and blue eyes. I never had anybody ever really notice me before; I have never been in love or had sex. I have seen all my friends do these things but who wants a girl with cancer. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that didn't I? I have stage four leukemia no cure. I was first diagnosed when I was ten years old. Kept hoping it would go away but it keeps coming back stronger than ever. I was hoping one day to become a world famous artist but it seems like a distant dream now. My mother is forcing me to go to these group meetings at the hospital. She thinks it will help me to make friends. I hate it there but I know she wants me to be happy so I go for her.

The guy who runs the meetings his name is Jason is a little out there. His battle with cancer was short lived as with the rest of us well he have a visit with death very soon. I know he is really trying to help us open up and accept our fate, but some of us aren't ready for that just yet.

My mother always asks me if I have met anybody yet. I can see the disappointment she tries to hide as I say no once again. Well maybe next time she always says as we drive home. I look out the window as she drives. Maybe. I think.


	2. Chapter 2

I rolled my eyes at my mother as she dropped me off at yet another group session. She was bound and determined for me to meet someone. I'm dying I thought who would want to be friends with me. I remember the first time I saw her; she came in with this kid Aiden he had like cancer of the eye or something. She was breathtaking. I remember watching her a bit until what's his face mentioned it was time to start. I caught her eye and she smiled. I gave her a small smile back before blushing and taking my seat.

"So I see we have a newcomer, Aiden would you like to introduce your friend?"

Aiden smiled in Ashley's direction, "this is my friend Ashley Davies."

So that's her name I thought to myself. I couldn't help but blush as Ashley's eyes still hadn't left mine.

"Welcome Ashley," the group said.

Ashley smiled, as her eyes left mine for a brief moment to glance around the room.

"So Aiden why don't you start us off today?" No name said.

Aiden stood up and took a deep breath, "well they are going to operate on my eyes so I will become legally blind.

I frowned as he wiped away tears.

"But on the bright side I have an amazing girlfriend Madison, who is helping me through this," he smiled before sitting down.

Everyone clapped for him before what's his name turned towards Ashley.

Ashley nodded and stood up, "well I had a tumor but they were able to remove it, so now I am cancer free. I just came to support Aiden."

Ashley's eyes never left mine the entire group session, I felt like my body was on fire from the way she was looking at me. I tried to avoid her eyes but I couldn't and I always looked back.

I let out a deep breath as I stepped outside, into the cold air. My mother had not come back yet to pick me up so I took a seat on one of the hospital benches out front by the entrance. I laughed as I watched Aiden and Madison making out near his car.

"They do know where there at don't they?"

I looked up to see whose voice that was and was meant with Ashley's smiling face.

"May I?" she asked.

I nodded and watched as she took a seat beside me. She was still smiling and I couldn't help but get butterflies. "What?" I finally asked.

She laughed, "What do you mean what?"

"Why are you smiling at me like that and all through group you wouldn't stop watching me."

Ashley's smile grew wider, "well you're beautiful, and it was hard not to stare."

I felt my insides turn to jelly at her confession. I felt the biggest smile cross my face. I nearly died when I felt her take my hand.

Ashley seemed to be concentrating hard as she turned my hand over and began rubbing up and down along the paint stains I forgot were there.

"I love to paint," I answered her unasked question.

Ashley smiled as she continued to play with my hand. "That makes you ever more interesting. I really want to know you Spencer."

I frowned when she let go of my hand and stood up.

"Come over, we could watch a movie."

I smiled as I took her outstretched hand, and followed her to her car. She never once let go of my hand.


	3. Chapter 3

I had to admit I was extremely nervous to be meeting Ashley's family. What if they didn't like me? Or they simply though their daughter could do better? Those were the questions going through my friend as we got closer and closer to her house. I cast a sideways glance towards her, hoping she wouldn't notice but of course luck was not on my side.

"See anything you like?" Ashley said in a teasing tone.

I quickly blushed and looked away; I only looked back when I heard her enchanting laugh.

"You're so cute," she said as she pulled into her driveway.

To say her house was huge would be an understatement, her house was freaking ginormous! I couldn't help but gawk as I followed her inside.

"My dad used to be a rock star," she said as she held the door open for me.

I could only nod as I followed her into her kitchen. I saw her parents sitting at the dining room table engrossed in their magazines. They didn't seem to notice us until Ashley cleared her throat.

"Mom, dad this is Spencer Carlin, we met in group."

I smiled politely at her parents as they rose from their seats and walked towards us.

"Hi I'm Christine and this is my husband Raife."

I shook both of their hands and smiled.

"Well we are off to my room," Ashley told them as she took my hand and led me upstairs.

I gasped when we entered her room, my eyes scanned every possible inch. Ashley smiled as she watched my reaction. "Your room is incredible," I said.

She smiled as she walked over to her bed and sat down. She motioned me over.

I sat down as close to her as possible without sitting in her lap because that would be embarrassing.

"So tell me about you," she said as she smiled at me.

That smile would kill me for sure one day I swear it. I thought about what to say to her, I'm really not that interesting of a person.

She smiled at me again as she waited for me to speak.

Gah butterflies. "Well I'm really into art."

That seemed to perk her interest. "Really? What do you like about it?"

I had to think really hard about that one. "I love the mystery of it, how romantic it can be, just everything."

She smiled seeming satisfied with my answer. "I'm not very good at art."

"Well what are you good at?" I asked her. I wanted to know everything about this amazing girl sitting next to me.

"Well I can play the guitar pretty well," she said.

My mouth dropped open, "really that's great. You will have to show me one day."

She smiled and winked, "count on it."

I smiled as she continued to stare at me, no matter how hard I tried to look away I just couldn't.

"You have the most beautiful eyes," she said as she reached over and cupped my cheek.

I smiled as I leaned into her touch, she had this hold on me and I never wanted it to end.

"I like you Spencer Carlin," she whispered in my ear.

It sent shivers down my spine and caused my heart to beat widely in my chest. This girl was causing me to feel things I have never ever felt before. "I like you too Ashley Davies."

She smiled and kissed my cheek as she led me back upstairs. "It's late I should get you home."

I could only nod as she took my hand and led me towards her car.

Once we arrived at my place I caught her staring once again, I couldn't help but smile and use her question against her. "See something you like?"

She laughed as she took my hand and intertwined our fingers. "You're so beautiful," she whispered as she kissed my knuckles.

I felt my heart break when she finally let go and told me goodnight. I smiled as I watched her drive away and prayed to God I would get to see her again.


	4. Chapter 4

I was in the middle of my painting when I heard my phone ring; I smiled instantly recognizing Ashley's ringtone. I ran to my bed to answer it, "Hi."

"Spencer Carlin, how are you?" I heard Ashley say.

I couldn't help the butterflies that unaverred my stomach. "I'm fine. How are you?"

I heard her take a deep breath on the other end, "I'm nervous actually."

I frowned, "why?"

"I want to ask you out on a date but I'm nervous to hear your answer."

Oh my god I think I just died and went to heaven.

"Spencer are you still there?" I heard Ashley ask.

I took a deep breath, "yes my answer would be yes."

Ashley blew a sigh of relief, "well then now I'm not so nervous."

I smiled from the other end of the phone, I couldn't help it. She did things to me.

"Well I shall pick you up at seven if that works for you."

"Seven sounds great."

"Great see you then Carlin."

And with that she hung up the phone. I held my phone close to my chest as I debated on what to wear.

It was 6:59 when I heard my doorbell ring, I ran down the stairs nearly taking out my mother to answer it. She laughed at my eagerness. When I opened the door I was met with the most beautiful sight in the world. Ashley was standing there in skin tight jeans, and a leather vest, with biker boots and I had to admit it took my breath away.

"Hey there Carlin," she said as she handed me a book.

"What's this?" I asked as I flipped it over. I gasped when I realized it was a book of some of my favorite pieces of art. I smiled and pulled Ashley into a tight hug which she returned.

"You look beautiful," Ashley said as she held the door open for me.

I blushed and looked away.

She just smiled and closed the door before getting the driver's seat and taking off.

I grinned as she pulled into the parking lot of my favorite park.

She smiled at me as she walked around and held my door open for me. She took my hand and led me towards the play area. She never once let go of my hand as we sat there and just watched the stars.

"I'm really glad you said yes," Ashley said after a while.

I smiled and lay my head on her shoulder.

She wrapped her arms around me and held me close.

"So did you ever use your wish?" she asked as she played with my hair.

I looked up at her and smiled, "yeah but it wasn't what I wanted to use it for."

Ashley frowned so I continued. "My parents always wanted to go to Hawaii so I used my wish to go."

"Where did you want to go?" Ashley asked me.

I smiled as I pictured it, "there's this art museum in Spain I really want to go to."

Ashley smiled as I described it. "Well maybe one day, you will get to go."

I frowned, "I doubt it, it's too expensive."

Ashley just smiled, "anything is possible."

I smiled at her enthusiasm, it was hard not to. "So have you used your wish?"

Ashley looked off in the distance, "not yet."

"Why not?"

She looked back towards me, "they couldn't give me what I really wanted."

I could only nod as I lay my head back on her shoulder. I felt so safe with her, like nothing in the world could touch me. I belonged in her arms. I just knew it.

"Are you cold?" I heard Ashley ask as I shivered.

I nodded.

She took her jacket off and slipped it on me.

I wrapped it around me tightly and inhaled it smelled just like her. I smiled when she shifted closer and wrapped me up tightly in her arms. She kissed my forehead tenderly and whispered, "I'm so lucky to be with you right now in this moment."

I looked up at her and smiled. She took my hand and led me back towards her car. She never once let go the entire ride home. As I went to bed that night I held her jacket close and breathed in the scent of the woman I loved more than life.


	5. Chapter 5

I smiled as I watched Ashley dance around her room. I can't remember the last time I have ever been so happy with anyone in a very long time. She was simply beautiful and she wanted me. Ashley suddenly looked towards me and smiled, my insides melted.

"I caught you again," Ashley teased as she sat as close to me as possible.

I blushed and looked away, being this close to her was going to drive me utterly insane I assure you.

"I like it when you stare," Ashley told me as she took my hand.

I smiled as butterflies raced through me, this girl's touch was magic and I didn't care what happened to me as long as she was there every step of the way. I intertwined our fingers and held her hand close to my heart. I kiss her knuckles gently and put her hand on my face. She smiles as she traces my face with her fingers.

"You're so beautiful Carlin." She whispers.

I can't help but smile as I lay my head on her shoulder, I feel her wrap her arms around me and pull me down so I am lying on her chest. I have never felt so safe with anyone. God don't take me now I pray. I love this girl I know I do; I'm just not ready to say it yet. I know she feels the same way though I can tell by the way she is holding me so close to her.

Ashley kisses my forehead and promises me she will never leave as long as I promise the same. Of course I do how can I not? This girl is my life now. I would gladly follow her anywhere.

"Would you like to dance?" I hear Ashley ask me.

I nod shyly as she takes my hand and pulls me close to her. I smile as we sway to the sound of our heartbeats. I kiss her cheek as she looks me in the eyes and smiles. I blush and look away. We only stop when her parents announce dinner is ready.

I laugh as Ashley's family tells old stories of her childhood. The look on her face is priceless. She pouts as they tell embarrassing story after embarrassing story. I reach under the table and take her hand not letting go the entire dinner. Ashley smiled at me gratefully as she kindly excused us and dragged me to her room.

"I thought they would never stop talking," she says as she throws herself on the bed.

I smile as I sit beside her and began to rub her back soothingly. She seemed to enjoy it as she continued to lie on her stomach. I only stopped when she suddenly turned over and my hand was on her exposed but wonderful abs. I couldn't pull my hand way though. She looked at me full of love and I couldn't help the huge smile that crossed my face.

"I love," she began but was cut off by the sound of my stupid phone ringing.

"It's my mom," I tell Ashley as I get up to answer it.

"Yes," I say as calmly as possible.

"It's time for you to come home dear," I can hear my mother say.

I roll my eyes as we continue our conversation.

"I have to go," I say sadly to Ashley after I finish the call.

Ashley frowns as she gets up and walks towards me; she gently cups my face and kisses my forehead as she whispers, "remember our promise."

I nod as I turn to leave thoughts of Ashley in my mind.


	6. Chapter 6

I smiled lovingly at Ashley as she led me to a beautiful spot near the water. She had suggested we go on a picnic and I quickly agreed so here we were. Ashley smiled as she lay a blanket down and motioned for me to take a seat next to her. I sat as close to possible to her as I could, and relaxed when I felt her arm around me. I lay my head on her shoulder as we watched the boats go by.

"So what was your wish?" she asked me.

I grinned sheepishly before answering, "It was stupid."

Ashley smirked, "I doubt it."

"Disney World," I mumbled as my face turned bright red.

Ashley just smiled, "what do you want now?"

I smiled as I recalled an art museum in Spain I had read about. "It's supposed to be the best in the world."

Ashley gave me her nose crinkling smile that turned my insides into jelly. "What was yours?" I asked her.

"I haven't used mine yet," Ashley said as she tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, her fingers lingering.

I closed my eyes as I enjoyed her touch, "oh," was I all could manage to get out.

"You are so beautiful," Ashley whispered as she placed a kiss to my cheek.

I blushed as I placed my hand on the spot where her lips just were. "So are you."

Ashley smiled as she took my hand and helped me up. "Dance with me."

"There's no music," I said as Ashley wrapped her arms around me.

Ashley then began singing softly in my ear and it was pure magic

"Spent your life searching

Waiting in line

I know you're holding on

To what you can't find

When the light is fading

And it's hard to see

I hope you know you're still a part of me

So hold on

Hold on to me

Hold on

Hold on to me

So hold on

Hold on to me

Hold on

Hold on to me".

I had tears streaming down my face as she finished her song. "That was beautiful. Did you write that?"

Ashley nodded as she kissed my forehead.

"I loved it," I whispered as I pulled her closer to me.

I was engrossed in watching this couple just making out in the middle of the park, (like who does that?) when I suddenly gasped as ice cold water hit me square in the face. "Ashley!" I shrieked.

Ashley laughed as she set the water bottle down, "sorry beautiful but you were starting to drool."

I wiped my face as I tried searching for something I could use against her. I could still hear her laughing when suddenly I found it. I grabbed a handful of skittles and began pettling her with them. She suddenly turned serious and an all-out skittle war was on. I laughed as she tackled me to the ground and pinned my arms above my head. She stared into my eyes and all I could see was love staring back at me, she leaned down and kissed both of my cheeks before helping me up.

"So Ashley how is your treatment going?" my mother asked as she handed the green beans to my father.

I rolled my eyes at my mother I swear she never listens to me, "mom I told you already she is done with her treatments."

My mother blushed, "right sorry."

I felt Ashley take my hand underneath the table and squeeze it gently as she smiled at me. I smiled back as I interlaced our fingers and continued to listen to my mom babble on about work.


	7. Chapter 7

The more time I spent with Ashley the more I knew that I was head over heels in love with her. Everything about her was perfect from the way her nose crinkled when she smiled or the way that whenever she held my hand she would massage it with her thumb. I knew without a doubt I simply could not nor would I ever live without her. Her arms were my lifeline and my heart was hers forever and ever. Even death wouldn't change that. I smile as I look across the room and watch her as she thumbs through a magazine even these times as we just sit here in each's presence is perfect to me.

It's like she knows I'm watching her as she looks towards me and smiles. She sets her magazine down and scoots closer to me as she takes my hand and kisses my fingers. "I will never get over how beautiful you are," she says to me as she cups my cheek.

I blush and look away. She makes me feel things I can't even began to describe. I pull her into my arms and hold her tight hoping she can feel all that I do in that simple touch. We both jump when her phone rings.

"It's Aiden," she tells me as she answers it. I listen idly to their conversation as I thumb through the magazine Ashley was just reading. I glance up when the call ends. "Is everything okay?" I ask as I see a worried expression on her beautiful face.

"Madison broke up with Aiden," she said as she slumped down next to me. "She did right before his surgery, said she couldn't deal."

I frowned as I reached over and took her hand. I kissed her knuckles as I set our clasped hands in my lap.

"He's coming over, if that's okay?" Ashley asked me as she searched my eyes.

I smiled as I cupped her cheek stroking it gently, "of course it is."

She gave me a smile just as her bedroom door opened and Aiden appeared. He looked so devastated as he sunk down beside Ashley.

I felt so bad for him he really loved her and she just couldn't deal with his illness.

I watched as Ashley hugged him tightly as he sobbed into her shoulder, "I hate being this," I heard him cry out.

Ashley rubbed his back as he cried; I reached over and took his other hand. I felt him jump as he looked in my direction.

"Spencer is here Aid," Ashley told him as she gave me a small smile.

I saw Aiden smirk as he squeezed my hand, "thanks guys," he mumbled as he stood up and began pacing.

Ashley and I watched as anger starting to appear on his face the more he paced it seemed the angrier he got. "How could she do this!" we heard him yell as he punched the wall.

I saw Ashley smirk, "let it out," she told him.

Aiden kept hitting the wall till there was a hole in it and blood was forming on his hand, "feel better?" Ashley asked as she walked towards her bathroom to retrieve a washcloth.

I saw Aiden smile, "I do actually."

I smiled as I stood up and helped him back to the couch where Ashley and I helped him get his hand cleaned and bandaged.

"How about we play that stupid video game you like so much? Ashley asked as she walked over to her TV to set it up.

I saw Aiden smile as he took the controller and listened to instructions on the screen.

I reached over and took Ashley's hand holding it tightly as I watched her and her best friend play.

"So I may have forgotten to mention this but I used my wish," Ashley told me as she watched Aiden get into his mom's car.

My mouth dropped open as I glanced towards her, "that's great. What did you decide on?"

I saw Ashley grin, "Spain."

I felt tears well up in my eyes, "Ashley I you didn't," I was babbling and I knew it. Ugh I loved this girl so much. I did the only thing I could think of and pulled her into a hug. I hugged her as tightly as I possible could never wanting to let go.


	8. Chapter 8

I shuddered as another blast of cold air hit me, I couldn't breathe. I tried to scream but no sound came out, I struggled to crawl out of bed and gasped when I hit the hard floor, the pain hit me like a thousand knives. I had to get downstairs, I just couldn't figure out how. Suddenly I feel dizzy and darkness surrounds me I can hear my father call my name but I cannot answer. When I finally wake up I look around and see that I'm lying in a hospital bed attached to a bunch of machines. I smile when my eyes land on Ashley, she is right next to my bed clutching my hand like I might fly away if she lets go.

I watch her as she begins to stir I can see tears stains on her face and I frown. I hate that I worried her.

"Spencer," I hear her whisper when she notices I'm awake. She squeezes my hand as she looks around the room; I'm assuming she is looking for my parents.

"How long have you been here?" I ask her my voice groggy.

She smiles, "awhile."

"Spencer sweetie?" I hear my mom ask from the doorway as she enters the room.

I smile in her direction as she stands behind Ashley. "Hi mom," I whisper.

I see tears start to fall from my mother's eyes, "oh sweetheart," she steps around Ashley and kisses my cheek I can feel her tears all over my face. "Ashley sweetie can you give us a minute please," I hear my mother ask.

I see Ashley nod as she squeezes my hand, "I will be right back," she says as she kisses my hand and steps in back down. I smile at her as I watch her leave.

"She loves you so much," my mom said as she took the empty seat next to the bed that Ashley was just sitting in. "She refused to leave."

I looked towards my mother in shock, "she did?"

My mother nodded as she took my hand, "yes she was just sitting in this chair watching you, just begging for you to wake up."

I smiled as tears streamed down my face.

My mother wiped them away, "a mother waits a long time for her daughter to find someone who loves her as much as she does and you are so lucky to have found it so early. Don't ever let her go."

"I won't she is my soul mate, I love her so much mom," I cried out as more tears fell.

My mother reached over and cupped my cheeks, "I know you do baby. I'm so happy for you."

I looked towards the door with a smile knowing the love of my life was just on the other side.

My mother followed my gaze, "so I know this will disappoint you but," I heard my mother began but then she trailed off.

"What is it?"

"I have been talking with the other doctors and we think it's not wise for you to go to Spain," my mother mumbled as she looked away.

I gasped, "Mom please I have to go."

My mother stood up and began pacing, "Spencer honey you are just too sick to go."

I turned away to hide the tears that were racking my body.

"Spencer sweetie," I heard my mom say as she reached for me.

"I want to see Ashley," I mumbled as I refused to look her in the eyes.

My mother wiped away her tears as she nodded and walked out the door.

I relaxed a bit when I saw Ashley enter; she frowned when she noticed my tears.

"What's wrong," she asked as she rushed over and sat on the edge of my bed.

"I can't go to Spain," I whispered as the tears flowed once more.

Ashley laid back and pulled me into her arms, I relaxed instantly. "Shh its okay, I understand."

"I wanted to go so bad," I sobbed into Ashley's shirt.

She held me close and she kissed my forehead and cheeks, "we will go some other time."

I looked up into her beautiful eyes and smiled, "promise?"

Ashley gave me that adorable nose crinkling smile, as she replied "promise."

I fell back into her arms as she held me close and swore she would never let me go.


End file.
